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Not Football

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  • I would not actively demand the end of any professional sport (or game!) to be honest...(oh hang on...perhaps the ones that require an element of animal cruelty) but some interest me more than others.

  • I remember watching a Wycombe game many years ago and thinking it was a lot like kabaddi

  • As I have said a few times on here I enjoy both codes of Rugby, though just for the speed & athleticism I prefer League to Union.

    I love football, in part despite the best efforts of IFAB etc, because it is a really simple game to play but a hard one to master. It also requires little in the way of equipment, only a ball & jumpers for goal posts.

    As an aside, as kids we used to play "street gridiron" with the kids of officers from the local US Air bases, they made the error of telling us we were allowed to pass the ball backwards as many times as we like but forward only once; given we played rugby at school we regularly trounced them as we were used to passing backwards...

  • I think Football will always be the universal team sport because of the point made by @Erroll_Sims above - it can be played anywhere, by anyone.

    Another point about the relative merits of sports - I think the scoring zone and nature of scoring matters. For instance, I think a weakness of Rugby and the NFL is that the scoring action is not that exciting (placing a ball on the floor in the former, breaking an invisible plane or catching a ball in a specific zone in the latter). To me, it is nowhere near as satisfying as the impact of an object on the back of a net, which is one of the reasons the actual act of scoring is so satisfying in Football (and Ice Hockey).

  • That is plain wrong

    There is no offside line in open play

  • I thought that until I ended up at a game near Darwin one time and was enthraled by it. Beautiful setting, great atmosphere and despite not knowing much of what was going on, there was end to end action!

  • Those chips must be weighing particularly heavily on your shoulders today. Actually, the park in question was Hazlemere Rec.

    And, if you go down to Kingsmead any Sunday morning during the season, you will see up to 100 kids in age groups from U7 to U12 playing Mini Rugby on half-size pitches, with matches against other local clubs. These kids are mainly state school pupils, who wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to play Rugby.

    I used to coach there in the 1990s, and some of those kids grew up to become senior players at first XV level.

  • Aussie Rules = Some kids with a ball making it up as they go along.

    Whilst wearing shorts that are in no way homoerotic

  • It's a few sports combined isn't it?

    Rugby, fighting, gaellic stuff, hockey, all sorts.

  • Like I said, I've never seen a jumper for goalposts sporadic game of Rugby. You are talking about organised coaching.

    Football is played from the heart, whilst Rugby is often a vehicle for those that like to display class elitism.

  • Mostly fighting. Horrible waste of a Sunny morning a few years ago. Fair play if people enjoy it. I think it is awful.

  • I rather like Aussie Rules. Can remember seeing it played at the Oval a couple of times on the 1980s.

    Commendably bonkers and it always seemed a sport that would best suit my natural skill set (basically reasonably quick, able to catch and tackle pretty well and suitably stupid).

  • I can understand that sentiment in England but clearly the complete opposite in Wales where predominant amount of people playing are not elitist.

    Most of the Welsh greats came from mining or steel towns, went to the local comp, taught in the local comp whilst still playing for their country.

    it feels like you had a very bad experience of rugby and now wish to tar everyone with that brush. Your choice I suppose…

  • Far be it from me to join in the kicking of rugby while it's down but it does have a problem at grass roots level. Two kids, two jumpers and a ball, you've got a game of football. There is just no equivalent in rugby.

  • I can't stand rugby, but this is just such a weird thing to say.

    As if a group can't just get a ball, and something to mark either end of a pitch for the try line.

    Sometimes they have "tag" rugby, to save kids/newbies being clattered by oafs.

  • In football a goal is scored by the ball passing through an invisible plane - the area bounded by the rear of the goal frame. It doesn’t have to touch the net.

    And with that I’ll hand the pedantry baton back to @micra

  • Indeed, it doesn't even have to touch the ground either.

  • Also find it odd that a Touchdown in American football doesn't actually require the ball to be touched down.

  • Seems even weirder when you think Americans are usually ludicrously literal with other things.

    Like eyeglasses, sidewalks etc.

    Things that don't need saying.


    I suppose touchdown is a tidier word than "throw it at the floor"

  • Very true, and I stand corrected. However, seeing as the ball does touch the net most of the time, maybe we are on to something that could improve other sports. In Rugby and the NFL maybe the players could have to run into the back of a giant net even after breaking the plane?

  • Hi @Shev ! I’ve been off air for the last couple of pages of Not Football and have only just seen your post.

    The traumatic experience that put me off rugby for life occurred in about 1952. I was taking part in my first ever game during what I think must have been a curriculum-scheduled games period. I had run with the ball (flat out, I thought) for all of 15 yards when, to my surprise, another player crashed violently into me from behind, causing me to hit the deck, winded and seeing stars. From then on, I went for the alternative option of cross-country running. This involved a circular route of about two or three miles around a lake in Mote Park. During the winter months, the lake was sometimes frozen sufficiently to enable us to short-circuit the route to some extent.

    I didn’t mean to rabbit 🐇 on quite so much. My main intention (which now seems pretty crass) was to say that “everyone falling over themselves to say that rugby is not a sport” (line 9 of your first paragraph) conjured up a picture of those very people actually playing the game.

  • @micra I gave up rugby after a similar type of incident although in my case it was in a maul and rather than a tackle, someone had a hold of my thumb and was trying to break it. I reckoned that the game was physical enough without the extra danger of people deliberately trying to cause you injury at every opportunity. Still enjoy watching it, but every interaction since that I have had with rugby players in groups of more than two has reinforced my opinion that it's best to avoid actual proximity.

  • I may have posted this before but we got a PE teacher in my (inner city) Secondary School who preferred the egg shaped ball and so anyone tall suddenly found themselves playing that rugger. I played for the speedily created and recruited ('You'll do...!') school team twice without even having a decent grasp of the rules. The first time against Bluecoat (selective school) I got punched twice in the scrum and the second time against a Top Valley team of under 14 year olds who looked like badly shaved cavemen, I got hit so hard I was taken off concussed. I can hardly remember touching the ball in either game.

    Put me right off.

  • My point was two kids - one in goal, one trying to score. Your reply mentioned 'a group'. Not my point and I just wonder how you would manage the equivalent in rugby.

  • At Wellesbourne they only ever seemed to make us play rugby when the playing field was frozen over and rock hard. I literally still have the scars.

  • edited June 2023

    Pretty damn easily really.

    2 kids, 2 lines, 1 ball. Get past the other kid and score at the line.


    Or simply have the same "goal" albeit rugby posts. One guards the posts/goal line, one has the ball and needs to get past the other kid to get a try.



    I dislike rugby, but let's not pretend it's hard to have some sort of minimalistic version of it.

  • I was "recruited" to school rugby team. It was all a bit too rough for me. For three years I played srum or fly half. The beauty of these positions, though, is that I could hide behind the forwards during mauls, rucks and scrums and then when the ball did come my way I either punted a Garryowen or fizzed it to the centres who would get clobbered on my behalf. So, I managed to cleverly skip around relatively unscathed. The trouble with Rugby at minor level is the disparity in size which can put off the feint hearted. Despite my own negative memories of playing, I still think it can be a great spectacle.

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