Talking of our old friend Swanny, he just can’t get us out of his head. Below his report on Peterborough’s latest setback:
They have been a joy to watch in a season that has exceeded most expectations. The style of football has been as enjoyable as anything this reporter has seen in 50 years of pitching up at London Road. They’ve recorded two five-goal derby wins, outclassed the promoted Derby County team on their own patch and beat the unlovable Wycombe Wanderers in a Wembley final. They are moments which should generate great pride.
And, of course, he had to bemoan the opposition tactics and find another excuse:
The players, with only the odd exception, are all gifted footballers who are comfortable with the ball at their feet. They have pace and power and they delivered intricate passing movements which have bamboozled opponents. They also refuse to resort to the ‘dark arts’ to win matches. Sitting down for a breather feigning injury while club physios shamelessly join in a charade for the benefit of officials who rarely make the time up, is not in the Posh playbook and they should be proud of that as well.
I'm old enough to remember Peterborough players pretending (at the behest of their ridiculous manager Barry Fry) that they were unable to keep their feet on a suspiciously non-icy "frozen pitch" in an attempt to fool the referee Frazer Stretton, an actual idiot, to call the game off
it worked and we referred to them as Cheaterborough from then onwards
Swann can stick his 'dark arts' where the sun don't shine
A couple years later Stretton, when we were desperate for points to avoid relegation, played what seemed like half an hour's worth of time added on at home to Colchester. Just enough time in fact for him to award them a penalty and deny us the 3 points. Could easily have sent us down
It's a little rich moaning about Alan Swann not being able to get us out of his head when every time he mentions us in an article you find it, read it, post on here about it and moan about him.
An anagram of Peterborough is Poor Beer Thug. It seems to suit them, somehow.
Even better, an anagram of Derby County is Doubt Yen Cry. This covers the two major factors in Derby's recent history - 'Doubt Yen' which conveys uncertainty over money - and 'Cry', which pertains to ceaseless whining.
There are other anagrams with a C word which are best left alone.
That was untidy but should have reacted a lot quicker than we did. The guy was on tour in Australia for goodness sake and we still for some reason thought it was happening and played a sub par keeper for weeks on end.
Hopefully it stays one of the strangest situations in our league history.
Although being bought out by a billionaire could easily dwarf it.
And the further we go into May why there's not been even the merest whisper of season ticket info when ever single season ever the prices are announced pre season end.
FYI, I don’t go looking for Swann’s rants because I get sent an email every day with cuttings from any newspaper that mentions WWFC, a relic of my time as the club’s media officer. I occasionally post them on here as I know many posters are interested in his latest outpourings. If it doesn’t interest you feel free to ignore them.
Bit unfair, he trained with us for at least a week before the season started and rented a place in Marlow. I think it was fair enough to expect a club the size of Manchester United not to mess us around.
Aaaagh! Why did someone have to mention Frazer Stretton? There's a different estate agent whose signs have started popping up around my area and every time I see them I have nightmare flashbacks.
Comments
TL;DR morals and ethics mean nothing in football, as we've seen all too often.
Don't think I've ever seen anyone work harder for a bite
The fella who runs that account is from High Wycombe.
Whenever I see a version of that meme I always wonder how the model on the right feels in real life, as a universal image of being jilted!
Wonder no more https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/distracted-boyfriend-meme-interview-with-couple-2017-8%3famp
Haha, brilliant, thanks!
Testing out the generator.
He'll be called Alan Bodger when we've bought the paper of course.
Apologies to Swanny for spelling his first name wrong too. Not sure where I got the double L from.
Talking of our old friend Swanny, he just can’t get us out of his head. Below his report on Peterborough’s latest setback:
They have been a joy to watch in a season that has exceeded most expectations. The style of football has been as enjoyable as anything this reporter has seen in 50 years of pitching up at London Road. They’ve recorded two five-goal derby wins, outclassed the promoted Derby County team on their own patch and beat the unlovable Wycombe Wanderers in a Wembley final. They are moments which should generate great pride.
And, of course, he had to bemoan the opposition tactics and find another excuse:
The players, with only the odd exception, are all gifted footballers who are comfortable with the ball at their feet. They have pace and power and they delivered intricate passing movements which have bamboozled opponents. They also refuse to resort to the ‘dark arts’ to win matches. Sitting down for a breather feigning injury while club physios shamelessly join in a charade for the benefit of officials who rarely make the time up, is not in the Posh playbook and they should be proud of that as well.
I'm old enough to remember Peterborough players pretending (at the behest of their ridiculous manager Barry Fry) that they were unable to keep their feet on a suspiciously non-icy "frozen pitch" in an attempt to fool the referee Frazer Stretton, an actual idiot, to call the game off
it worked and we referred to them as Cheaterborough from then onwards
Swann can stick his 'dark arts' where the sun don't shine
A couple years later Stretton, when we were desperate for points to avoid relegation, played what seemed like half an hour's worth of time added on at home to Colchester. Just enough time in fact for him to award them a penalty and deny us the 3 points. Could easily have sent us down
I thought you didn't like criticising referees?
And...
It's a little rich moaning about Alan Swann not being able to get us out of his head when every time he mentions us in an article you find it, read it, post on here about it and moan about him.
An anagram of Peterborough is Poor Beer Thug. It seems to suit them, somehow.
Even better, an anagram of Derby County is Doubt Yen Cry. This covers the two major factors in Derby's recent history - 'Doubt Yen' which conveys uncertainty over money - and 'Cry', which pertains to ceaseless whining.
There are other anagrams with a C word which are best left alone.
@aloysius
We've an impressive number of clubs we're salty about these days.
Peterborough, Oxford, Plymouth, Derby, Stevenage, MK, QPR, Col Utd.
Am I missing any?
Manchester United, because of the goalkeeper fiasco.
That was untidy but should have reacted a lot quicker than we did. The guy was on tour in Australia for goodness sake and we still for some reason thought it was happening and played a sub par keeper for weeks on end.
Totally agree - it is one of the strangest episodes possible to be in a situation that requires playing a development goalie for FOUR games!
Hopefully it stays one of the strangest situations in our league history.
Although being bought out by a billionaire could easily dwarf it.
And the further we go into May why there's not been even the merest whisper of season ticket info when ever single season ever the prices are announced pre season end.
Reading
I think it gets very tiresome very quickly.
Having a pop at one every quarter of a century or so seems alright to me
Season tickets are being cancelled as we’re moving to AI generated crowds and an online supporter model.
Why play in front of 5000 when we can have a stadium that holds billions of odd fingered, merch wearing, super supporters?
No need for moaning old gits and risky investments in crisps. Genius!
FYI, I don’t go looking for Swann’s rants because I get sent an email every day with cuttings from any newspaper that mentions WWFC, a relic of my time as the club’s media officer. I occasionally post them on here as I know many posters are interested in his latest outpourings. If it doesn’t interest you feel free to ignore them.
We'll be sobbing in our basements when the next FM game gives us a £1 billion budget but the board vetoes any player who isn't from Kazakhstan.
Bit unfair, he trained with us for at least a week before the season started and rented a place in Marlow. I think it was fair enough to expect a club the size of Manchester United not to mess us around.
Out of interest anyone know where Tyla is now. Some sources on internet suggest Walton - all except Walton it seems….
He appears to be their first choice keeper https://waltonhershamfc.com/swans-end-with-a-win/
There’s poetry in bearing a ref grudge for decades too. I’m looking at you Gurnham Singh.
Oh, your posts always interest me, Alan.
@eric_plant fair enough!
Aaaagh! Why did someone have to mention Frazer Stretton? There's a different estate agent whose signs have started popping up around my area and every time I see them I have nightmare flashbacks.