Skip to content

Things you pretended to know, but really didn't

"Damp Squid"

I said it out loud once, and someone corrected me "Squib!" To which I replied

"Yeah, that's what I said."

Met with a look of serious suspicion.

That's an understandable one I think.

Any one got any other embarrassing ones?



  • Lol. I knew someone who insisted that 'The British are terrible at queueing', whilst I'm sure the stereotype is 'The British love to queue.'

    Don't start the 'you've got another thing/think coming' debate.

  • Oooh, I can see an offshoot discussion (two posts in?) about song lyrics we got wrong.

    I used to think to be "specific" was to be "pacific", but then I was about seven at the time.

  • In my experience the former is true!

    Especially in O'neills at peak time

  • Two common ones I see - people writing "Here, here" instead of "Hear, hear" and "Top draw" instead of "Top drawer".

  • I used to wonder what five things Ben was folding until I discovered he was Ben Folds.

  • "Pacific" was everywhere when I was young. I gave up correcting people

    I remember Christmas carols and everyone singing 'to your and your king' instead of 'kin' for "We wish you a merry Christmas"

    I was very smug in correcting people as I was in the choir so had the words in front of me. Would never have known otherwise

  • It was quite recently I learnt that Taylor Swift is not talking to her ‘lonely Starbucks lovers.’

  • Kaikai/Kai Kai/KaiKai?

    Disappointed that fans at his new club seem to have gone with the "boringly correct" option, but then Cambridge has a well-established reputation for being a hotbed of academia...

  • This seems a good place to admit that I have no idea what 'promote' means on users profile pages.

  • edited July 2023

    I think if you get 10 thousand likes you get promoted to the Gasroom Gold Chamber with all the benefits that entails.

    2,000 dislikes and you are relegated to the MK Dons forum.

    But to be honest I never read the terms and conditions properly.

  • LX1LX1
    edited July 2023

    Talking of song lyrics, REM's song 'The sidewinder sleeps tonight' has an incomprehensible chorus that I'm sure means different things to different people.

    The correct lyrics are 'gonna book a flight to Jamaica' but some wallies think otherwise

  • LX1LX1
    edited July 2023

    Surely a squid has to be damp, or it would be a dead squid?

  • edited July 2023

    The most hilarious lyric fail I have heard of is people thinking U2's "She moves in mysterious ways" is "Shamu the mysterious whale".

    Though my sister and I both thought the chorus to Steve Miller's 'Jungle Love' was singing 'Chocolate Strawberry Man' instead of 'Jungle Love it's driving me mad'.

  • LX1LX1
    edited July 2023

    @Shev as a teen I thought Radiohead's 'Creep' started with 'when you hear the phone'

  • "When Smokey sings, I hear violence"

    I know two people who thought that.

  • Speaking of Steve Miller, 'The Joker' is an example of a song where I thought I was singing it wrong ('Pompatus of Love') but that I would look it up later and correct it. It turns out that was the actual lyric, with a little controversy behind it, as despite being a 'nonce word', there were accusations of him stealing it, if I remember correctly.

  • A what word?

  • I seem to recall that Lucille picked a fine time to leave Kenny Rogers especially as he had 'four hundred children and a Croc in the field.'

  • Haha - it's a word that does not actually belong to any language that appears to have been created for one time use.

  • A friend of mine thought that the chorus to Enya's "Orinoco Flow" was written in Franglais (because why wouldn't an Irishwoman do that) and instead of the nautically-themed "Sail away...", had heard it as "C'est le way".

  • Once thought Pato Banton had sung "CD collection above my knee", instead of Bob Marley.

    And until recently I wondered how on earth Fat Boy Slim had got away with the chorus muffling "f@@@ with the women" in his track Gangster Tripping.

    Now apparently finding out it's "that's what we're doing".

  • Thought Bon Jovi's waitress worked at "Dynamo Bay", instead of the horribly worded "works a diner all day".

  • edited July 2023

    I had to move to America to understand the lyrics to 'Take It Easy' as I had never heard the phrase 'Flat Bed Ford' in England. I used to just sing 'Flat Before' knowing something was not quite right.

  • LX1LX1
    edited July 2023

    Off topic but random reminder of Alanis Morisette's 'Ironic.'

    Where absolutely nothing is ironic

  • 'It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife". I can't help but wonder about how she found herself in this situation. Needed to cut out a bullet during a showdown in a spoon factory? Ten thousand is a lot of spoons!

  • If we are off on random lyric tangents, nothing will ever beat Bernie Taupin:

    'If I were a sculptor...but then again, no."

    You have to have some serious confidence to bail on a thought in the middle of a song!

  • We've all found ourselves in such a situation haven't we?

  • Mention of High Wycombe towards the end.


  • ABC's timeless lyric for me...That Was Then, This Is Now.

    The truly international line:

    'can't complain, mustn't grumble Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble'

    Just beats Nena's 'Worry Worry Super Scurry...'

Sign In or Register to comment.