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Exeter - Score prediction

Wycombe turn out onto the pitch at St James Park with only ten men. Beano joins them shortly afterwards from the clouds on which he has been walking since last week. He is met with resounding cries of "Beano" from half the travelling support and "Beany" from the other half, all of which latter half are wearing new t-shirts and none of whom were actually present last week.

JJ makes a subdued start to the game. In conversation with Richie in the club shop the next day, it transpires that he was indeed extremely hurt at being substituted the previous week. The Gasroom, to a man, starts to follow Clifty on Twitter.

Following Vital's lead, Gareth brings new blood onto the bench in the form of Genghis Khan. Or rather, Genghis Khan brings new blood onto the bench in the form of the disembowelled entrails of the Exeter bench.

Emboldened by a stirring pre-match team talk from new goalkeeping coach Papa Doc Duvalier, Wycombe set about their hosts, creating many early openings and carving holes in the defence at will. With machetes. Nonetheless, thanks to a pedantic referee who insists on a number of stoppages for head injuries, the Blues find it hard to maintain rhythm and the half ends scoreless.

After half-time, the whole Wycombe team except Bayo and Browny each emerge with a third leg, an innovation of new physio, Dr Mengele. Browny emerges with eight arms and Bayo with an eight foot tall head. This is too much for their disembodied opponents and Wycombe run out easy winners with Beano/y completing his hattrick in the fifty eighth minute of injury time.

Exeter 0 (surviving players) Wycombe 5

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