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Grimsby - score prediction

Remember, no points for conventional predictions.

3-3 Two sendings off for Wycombe: O'Nien (52) and El Abd (85), the former for a bad challenge in midfield, the latter for bringing down a player through on goal.



  • 5-4 Grimsby, the last goal coming as Scott Brown punches a cross into the back of El Abd's head, where it then ricochets back to Brown's knee, loops up, hits a passing seagull, comes back down, rolls along the crossbar, drops off on the goal line, spins like a top, before Brown picks it up calmly, slips on a banana skin thrown from the crowd, throws the ball against the post, where it cannons back out into the sea of increasingly bemused players, ping pongs around, then gets stuck in the mud on the penalty spot, gets hacked at by two Wycombe defenders at the same time, hits the backside of the fleeing Grimsby striker, and then settles on the goal line a second time, where a freak gust of wind, caused by Sam Saunders shaking his barnet at the wrong time, just sends it over the line.

    That, or a late penalty.

  • 'Blues boss Gareth Ainsworth believes there are plenty of positives to take from Saturday's narrow defeat at Blundell Park...'

  • In keeping with the 4, 5, 6 goals per game sequence of our opening three league games, it has to be a 7 goal game tomorrow. I am going for Grimsby 2 - 5 Wycombe; and 1 red card for Grimsby to keep their sequence of 1 dismissal a game in the first 4 games going.

    Is a red a game for the first four games (all comp's) a record?

  • 1-0 Wycombe, Akinfenwa.

  • @Chris: boooring!
    @Shev: entirely plausible.
    @Uncle_T: hadn't noticed that sequence (and me a stats quirk nerd).

  • Grimsby 2 Wycombe 3 with a 98th minute winner from Mackail-Smith,well i can dream.

  • edited August 2017

    A rash of late loan signings sees Wycombe line up as Blackman, harriman, Hause, Mawson, Jacobsen, Banton, Scowen, Yennaris, Phillips, Akinde, Hayes. The Yoof scream "you don't know what you're doing , you G!o C%t" at the manager. All a bit of bantz innit. Hayes is booed.

    Banton is loaned to Grimsby after three minutes and changes kit on the pitch. He is replaced by Dave Carroll. Carroll is himself replaced by Dave Bullock who lets face it always was the better player.

    Hayes puts the chairboys one up and is roundly booed for scoring in the opposition end goal first.

    Hause and Mawson are distracted showing each other pictures of their wage slips and Grimsby nip in unopposed to equalise. "one Scotty Brown, there's only one Scotty Brown" wafts up from the terraces.

    Second half begins and Hayes fires in to the left top corner from 30 yards. He is roundly booed for not finding the bottom corner of the right side of the net where the Yoof had assembled.

    The country's last remaining UKIP voter holds up a photo of a grinning Nigel farage behind the Chairboys goal. Blackman is violently sick. Grimsby equalise again. "f*ck off back to Sheffield" is the witty response.

    Gavin Grant comes on but combination of a heavy cold and ball and chain render him ineffective.

    Wycombe bring on late sub Freddy Eastwood. He misses a last minute open goal.
    "Useless G*Β£o c$%t" rings out again. Eastwood's family who have travelled enmasse to his first game for a while and hence added hugely to the bank holiday traffic jams, take understandable offence and swiftly rid the club of these immature idiots once and for all.

    The game ends 2-2.

  • edited August 2017

    Being a place to dream is the express desire of this page, @robin.

    I've changed mine to:

    3-3 Two sendings off for Wycombe: O'Nien and El Abd (both 88) when they fight after another comedy-ricochet own goal brings it back to 3-3.

    And Bayo has to be sustituted after he binds his fingers to his boots doing his lace-tying ritual after our third goal in the 8th minute. He is taken off in a wheelbarrow.

  • Brilliant. There surely must be a book in there somewhere. Both of you. James Cumming, eat your heart out.

  • 2 - 3 0 - 3 at half time CMS and Akinfenwa (2)...fishy late fight-back. Gareth claps wrong people. Police arrest Twitter.

  • edited August 2017

    or something like that

  • Similar to floyds - 'GA says that there are indeed positives to take from wycombes 14-2* loss and that the defence doesn't need strengthening and that Hayes has still got 'it'.'

    *11 of those conceded were OG's

  • 4-0 down at half time. Brown substituted by Richardson after 45 minutes. Southwell replaces Bayo after 50 minutes when Bayo's neck locks permanently upwards and scores a hat-trick, but we end up losing 4-3.

  • A freak waterspout in Cleethorpes harbour causes a deluge of fish to rain down on the pitch. It being the Jewish Shabbat, Jacobson sees it as a sign from God and sits down on the pitch to feast, leaving the left back position horribly exposed. 0-5 FT.

  • One flaw in that, @MindlessDrugHoover : I believe Jacobson is a vegan. Perhaps it could rain whitebait, which Jacobson might mistake for manna.

  • Perhaps a torrential kelp downpour instead.

    Ainsworth blames the team's sluggish performance on eating apples before kick-off.

  • Plenty to think about, yes. Things to work on, Yes. Go again. Yes. Apples?? That's a new one.

  • @Wendoverman I believe the apples statement came from the weird and wonderful mind of Tony Adams.

    Grimsby Town >1.5
    Wycombe Wanderers <2.5

  • @floyd aah I arrived after those glory years.

  • A crash between a retreating Bayo and onrushing Brown as they have to be replaced by Ainsworth and Richardson (other substitutes having been poisoned by eating Salmon mousse) resulting in the first Grimsby goal. The second a superb El Abd flick from 18yds over Richardson followed by a Parish Church Hall wonderstrike, Southwell solo effort, CMS bargain basement boot and Saunders hair flick into the corner. 2-4. Tyson sees red for ear biting.

  • @Wendoverman From an interview Tony Adams did with the Guardian (link below), commenting on his time at Wycombe:

    ""I set aside everything I learned under Arsène. It's a complete waste of time at this level. The other night, before the Colchester game, one of our players ate an apple. I let it go. If I started talking about the physiology of eating an apple, what it does to the digestive system just before you play football, I'd be confusing the hell out of them. They just can't take a huge amount of information on board."

  • Because lower league footballers are known to be less intelligent than the Premier League superspecies.

  • @NorsQuarters, your prediction is totally unbelievable In that we will never score four, the rest of it is very realistic :-D

  • edited August 2017

    I do strongly recommend that people follow the link and read the whole of the Guardian interview. It's comedy magic, in which Adams seems cast as a football managing equivalent of the The Office's David Brent.

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