Colchester - score prediction
Dev's new Fight Club sees a record away attendance and a record number of arrests for violent disorder. No home fans are involved or affected.
On the pitch, an elaborate one pass move sees Wycombe take an early lead from a Bayo header. He leaves the pitch immediately thereafter to join Fight Club. Half time: 1-0
Wycombe emerge for the second half wearing Sony Walkmen the better to remember their instructions for the half. Injuries are staged every ten minutes by prior arrangement to allow teammates the chance to get to the touchline for rubdowns, energy drinks and shots of adrenalin. With ten minutes to go, Saunders's tired legs are replaced by the fresh ones of Nick Freeman. Naturally, Freeman himself does not come on: his legs are transplanted onto Sam. For the second match in a row, the referee is excellent, which is regrettable as he correctly identifies Brown's nomadic pointing and gesturing routine each time the ball goes out for a goal kick as time-wasting and, allowing also for the lengthy Saunders/ Freeman transplant, plays an additional 125 minutes of stoppage time. In the 214th minute, Gareth makes his first substitution, replacing Bloomfield with Eze. Bloomfield leaves the pitch to a nine minute standing ovation from the travelling support. Eze immediately makes a tenacious Bloomfield-style tackle on the edge of the Wycombe box to win possession followed by an unBloomfield-style run the length of the pitch during which he leaves four opposition players on the turf through the unconventional use of skill rather than the more traditional commitment, togetherness and elbows. Final score: 2-0.
After the match, Gareth tells the press he will put his name to that performance as well as any contract put in front of him by a Championship club that will allow him to keep his caravan at their training ground.
Comments
Nice one, HC. My first look at Gasroom today after spending a good deal of time acknowledging birthday messages. Nice to read an imaginative, amusing post. I particularly enjoyed the whole new connotation of "fresh legs".
0-0
2-2, 2 red cards and a manager sent to the stands.
2-3 after being 2-0 up going into added time.
Last minute goal from supersub new signing Dave Titterton seals 2-0 win.
Four-eyed twat invades pitch. Ref blows final whistle early. All is good in the world.
good home record versus good away record. 8 - 8. Freeman scores all 16.
caravan @HCblue ?
Gypsy, @Wendoverman .
Bayo is injured so this is unlikely
@HCblue that's what I thought. Are you @clifty04 in disguise?
1-0. Scott Brown in injury time.
Yes, Ian Beale, that was the main thought in my mind, too. I agonised on whether to include that part of my prediction. I trade on the credibility of my forecasts and will feel like a charlatan if he does not play tomorrow.
@Wendoverman In a way, we're all a little bit @clifty04 in disguise, aren't we?
That post is fcking sht, HC you fcking wnker. Come on then if your 'ard enough you fcking cnt.
Err shiiiit
Err please don't come any closer
Owww
Waaah
yes.
@HCblue said:
I feel as if I've just been told there is no Father Christmas.
Aren't we playing in bright orange for the first time tomorrow? Can't see how Colchester will be able to score with that in their eyes. 2-0 Wycombe.
Wycombe appear in orange shirts with orange badges. Two supporters stand, arms folded and silent, throughout the game. Post match, when outed as known gasroomers, they argue that by sporting an unecessary orange badge it meant that the club was not, in fact, playing. In the ensuing metaphysical flame war, someone is called a Kant.
We play in tomato soup orange for every away game unless there is a clash @Shev everyone knows that.
Colchester 0 Wycombe 2 (Stapleton, Titterton)
Colchester 0 Wycombe 3 (Richie hat-trick) Richie registered at last minute in view of Wycombe's injury crisis.
As the ref needs to be somewhere after the game he agrees with both managers that rather than have the inevitable injury time at the end, he’ll take the 15 minutes of the pre-match warm up as it.
This kickabout mans that when the game actually kicks off we are 12-7 down although no-one thinks to tell the crowd.
Consequently everyone is surprised that Col U string 9 across the back and invite us to attack. We pull 1 back midway through the first half from a Stewart header from a corner, but then JJ is sent off for rolling on the floor feigning injury. He is later found to have brittle bone disease and never plays again.
The second half kicks off 12-8 (or 0-1) to most of the crowd and Col U play keep ball in their own half. We chase around for a bit getting nowhere. Two late goals from Col U win the game 14-8
1-0, Mackail-Smith
3-0 capped by a 35-yard screamer from Brownie (not fussed which one). What else?