I had a very quick scan (unusually busy today for someone retired 24 years!) and I don’t have time to suggest detailed mods - a lot would be of the “fads and fancies” type plus obvious typos and errors of syntax rather than correction of facts and figures.
I will refer to a couple of items though. In (from memory) your 7th paragraph you refer to the release of 7 players and then list 6. Was Ben Frempah the 7th?
Also, you refer in two different paragraphs to Alex Pattison having back trouble. The second reference is superfluous and in any case ill-placed. Not only that. I don’t recall any mention of back trouble elsewhere.
Apologies for not doing a more thorough job but I think you will spot some of the more obvious errors and omissions if you read carefully through your script. Good luck with your ongoing efforts.
Unless I am missing something, no mention of any current players other than the new signing, Pattison? It could be nice to preview what we may need to happen for us to kick on. In my own opinion, there are a few things I am hoping to see (in addition to that which is already happening, such as Gape and Thompson continuing to boss the midfield):
1 - Nick Freeman to develop further. His pass to Kashket that ended in Bayo's goal against Southend was sublime, and broke the back of that nasty streak we were on at the time. That is the sort of thing he is capable of on a more regular basis. I am not sure if it is confidence or experience, but he has the tools to really be our creative fulcrum.
2 - Ryan Allsop to stabilize. Perhaps because of his phlegmatic personality, his mistakes are not easily forgiven by the fans, and he had some really poorly timed gaffes this past season. He also really needs to command his box better. But I think there is a really good keeper in there, and there are times he shows that. I thought Scott Brown went from a bit of an uneven season with us, to playing fantastically for Port Vale. Hopefully Rocky can stabilize between the posts. We need him to!
3 - Kashket or Samuel to get 10 goals or more. This is not absolutely vital to survival, but having a 10 goal striker would help us push higher up the table. I have tremendous respect for Bayo and CMS, and expect them both to be among the goals, but at their ages, it is a bit unreasonable to expect them to "kick on" from where they are now. Kashket and Samuel, however, are both young, and either or both of them may well push their goal tally much higher.
Comments
I had a very quick scan (unusually busy today for someone retired 24 years!) and I don’t have time to suggest detailed mods - a lot would be of the “fads and fancies” type plus obvious typos and errors of syntax rather than correction of facts and figures.
I will refer to a couple of items though. In (from memory) your 7th paragraph you refer to the release of 7 players and then list 6. Was Ben Frempah the 7th?
Also, you refer in two different paragraphs to Alex Pattison having back trouble. The second reference is superfluous and in any case ill-placed. Not only that. I don’t recall any mention of back trouble elsewhere.
Apologies for not doing a more thorough job but I think you will spot some of the more obvious errors and omissions if you read carefully through your script. Good luck with your ongoing efforts.
Unless I am missing something, no mention of any current players other than the new signing, Pattison? It could be nice to preview what we may need to happen for us to kick on. In my own opinion, there are a few things I am hoping to see (in addition to that which is already happening, such as Gape and Thompson continuing to boss the midfield):
1 - Nick Freeman to develop further. His pass to Kashket that ended in Bayo's goal against Southend was sublime, and broke the back of that nasty streak we were on at the time. That is the sort of thing he is capable of on a more regular basis. I am not sure if it is confidence or experience, but he has the tools to really be our creative fulcrum.
2 - Ryan Allsop to stabilize. Perhaps because of his phlegmatic personality, his mistakes are not easily forgiven by the fans, and he had some really poorly timed gaffes this past season. He also really needs to command his box better. But I think there is a really good keeper in there, and there are times he shows that. I thought Scott Brown went from a bit of an uneven season with us, to playing fantastically for Port Vale. Hopefully Rocky can stabilize between the posts. We need him to!
3 - Kashket or Samuel to get 10 goals or more. This is not absolutely vital to survival, but having a 10 goal striker would help us push higher up the table. I have tremendous respect for Bayo and CMS, and expect them both to be among the goals, but at their ages, it is a bit unreasonable to expect them to "kick on" from where they are now. Kashket and Samuel, however, are both young, and either or both of them may well push their goal tally much higher.