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Laugh Out Loud

Sorry not about ownership but this amused me today. Last paragraph of a Torygraph article on rule changes with regard to handball - 'Another measure under consideration is that (substitutes) have to leave the pitch via the nearest touchline...' because apparently some managers tell players to go as far away as possible from the dugout before they are taken off and then head to the dugout as slowly as possible. I don't know about the rest of the Gasroom but I've never heard of such a thing! Disgraceful!


  • Introduce that rule and they’ll somehow be finding their way to the centre circle when it’s their turn to come off.

  • Time wasting is one of those horrible aspects of the game that is really hard to stamp out.

    The ref can dish a yellow, he can add time on, but it's not just the time, it's the disruption to the flow.

    Something like sin binning someone time wasting wouldn't really work either. You can't really sin bin a keeper who is usually the biggest culprit.
    And even if you did sin bin someone, the team would either go extra cynical/negative, or do even more time wasting while they waited the time out.

    More emphasis onthe ref to clamp down I suppose is the only answer.

  • Get the fourth official (or Opta) to record the time each team has in possession for dead ball situations and fine those clubs that go beyond a reasonable average.

    That should scare any potential investors away!!

  • Ref to throw firecrackers at them. I ran like a bastard when the big kids did that to me.

  • I've always thought that if the ref allowed a team who had just concerned a goal to kick off as soon as they were ready it would immediately eliminate the post goal celebrations at the corner flag, the lace tying, high fives etc.

  • My idea is to have a defined period of, say, fifteen seconds after which play can continue whether the sub is on or not. The player being replaced can leave the pitch via any boundary line and the sub, as now, cannot come on until he's off. That would stop the mucking about and keep the game moving.

  • @Twizz, that'd take out any semblance of passion from goals though.
    You'd score, and have to all sprint like bastads back to your half.

    @HCblue You'd still need some sort of rule that a player has to go off on the nearest line, and like someone else said, you'd then find they always make sure they're in the centre circle!
    15seconds wouldn't help,, as you can't have play going on while someone is wandering off - it's them , not the sub waiting that takes the time.

  • ps anyone spot Samuel with the key "lace tie" after the goal celebrations?

    It was that Wembley season in the first 2 months it was at its most blatant, but we certainly still do it now. It can't just be random, it has to be an orchestrated tactic to try and counter the supposed weakest point being after you've just scored.

  • It reached it’s zenith at White Hart Lane when three of our players went down in their half tying their laces after Thommo’s goal

  • @Malone: Play goes on after fifteen seconds. You play with ten until the first guy gets off. Naturally, he'd be booked if he interfered with play even remotely while he was getting off if he somehow hadn't got off in time. No need to require him to go off by the quickest route: it would happen naturally.

  • @Malone. I was trying to be ironic. Clearly I failed.

  • When goal is scored 4th official to hold up a board with a 120 second count down. This 2 min β€˜celebration time’ to be added automatically to end of 90 mins.
    A 60 second countdown on the subs number boards. Play to resume by ref whistle on 0.

  • edited November 2018

    I am not sure that there is a problem to solve here. All teams timewaste so none can complain. I quite enjoy the theatre of a goal celebration and applauding a player going off. Referees can stop the clock if they want.

    The only ones who suffer are fans getting home later but let's not kid ourselves that the authorities care about that.

  • @Right_in_the_Middle said:
    I am not sure that there is a problem to solve here. All teams timewaste so none can complain.

    No, pretty sure it's only Wycombe. Fans of every club we've ever beaten would confirm this.

  • Similarly, in a place where murder is commonplace, nothing need be done to improve matters?...

  • Murder is commonplace @HCblue ? Really? How?
    Every team timewaste. Every single team.

  • edited November 2018

    Bit joyless to want to bring in measures to stop teams celebrating goals isn't it?

    Imagine comparing that to murder. Jesus.....

  • @Right_in_the_Middle: in a hypothetical place... It was an analogy designed to illustrate the point that just because an act is widespread does not mean action should not be considered to address it if it is thought undesirable (into which category timewasting, by definition, falls).

    @eric_plant: I haven't seen anyone suggesting the outlawing of celebration. But we are all aware, are we not, that there comes a point where sincere celebration ends and a stringing out of matters takes place in order to slow down the game and waste time. I'm pretty sure that was what @perfidious_albion was addressing.

  • But murder is not widespread is it @HCblue ? It is actually thankfully anything but. Your point is therefore .... Well pointless. Much like any measure to stop time wasting in football.

    Remember when it was thought allowing a keeper to take a goal kick from either side would speed the game up? Or that six months where keepers had six seconds to release the ball?

  • But farms aren’t actually run by animals so the story is pointless.

  • @Chris said:
    But farms aren’t actually run by animals so the story is pointless.

    100% less clever than you thought it was

  • Now, children! I thought we were all happy bunnies, at least until Wednesday.

  • It's evidently anti-analogy day, @chris.

    And anti-reason.

  • I just thought was it's gone all angry and murdery

  • We’re an angry and murderous bunch @Wendoverman - especially after we win

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