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Comedy Gold

Don't know if anyone's seen the printed edition of the BFP today, but how about this for a priceless item on the Letters page?

No aim from the Wanderers

"An open letter to Wycombe Wanderers' Gareth Ainsworth.
I was unfortunate to see the match against Oxford United over Easter, a rare event for me, but a friend and I went to see Wycombe, especially as they are doing so well.
Then I saw your picture in the sports section, of the two High Wycombe coaches looking somewhat puzzled.
Do they actually do any coaching?
1) Is it normal to walk up the field with your back to the ball when your goalkeeper is taking a goal kick? Some of the Wanderers players do.
2) Why, when he is taking the kick, do they all congregate just north of the halfway line - ON ONE SIDE OF THE FIELD?
Are they having a love in with the opposition, leaving the other half of the field empty?
3) Why does the goalie compound this schoolboy error, by kicking the ball into this mass?
4) Why do the Wanderers insist on playing 'headball' like ping pong? Aren't they capable of bringing the ball down to their feet and playing FOOTBALL?
5) Do they not know, when your side has the ball, you run into spaces, when they have the ball you run into them?
6) Do they not know, that when in doubt regarding a pass, you kick it out for obvious reasons.
I was pleased they took notice of my instructions, from section A in the main stand, to hold the ball, play it back, take it to the middle and shoot, but not to hit the post.
But well taken on the rebound.
Even the schoolboy sitting in front of me was horrified. Most schoolboy teams play better than that, in spite of their complete lack of coaching.
The best of luck to them."

Can you imagine what Saint Martin would have made of that in his programme notes, if he were manager today?

Comments

  • From A. Smithler of Surrey?

  • No, M.Lesley of Seer Green, not traditionally a Wanderers hot bed.
    Perhaps he's bitter about not being able to travel to Coventry, Maybe send
    Ballroom Bill round from neighbouring Jordans, to attract old Lesser to our coaching team.

  • What a pratt!

  • I must admit it does take me back to the early 90s, when there used to be similar letters from bandwagon-jumping 'experts' in the BFP on a regular basis - which were then ruthlessly dismantled by a withering M O'N a week or two later.

  • What the actual fuck are the BFP doing printing shit like that? I mean, it doesn't even make sense in a couple of places. Who makes a decision to go ahead and put something like that in a newspaper?
    More importantly, have there been any positive letters printed over the last few months? I'm sure somebody must have written in praising the Wanderers or Ainsworth at some point, and it would be most unlike the BFP to favour negative coverage of the Blues over positive, wouldn't it....?

  • Whoever wrote that knows fuckall about football end of

  • You've got to admit he's spot on about the goal kicks..why do they do that? and Poxford wasn't our finest moment. could be all a bit tongue in cheek?

  • It's either a wind-up or written by an uber-cretin.

  • Must be a wind-up.

    'I was pleased they took notice of my instructions, from section A in the main stand, to hold the ball, play it back, take it to the middle and shoot, but not to hit the post.
    But well taken on the rebound.'

  • @FrijidPink said:
    You've got to admit he's spot on about the goal kicks..why do they do that?

    But we're not alone in doing that, I'd say most teams do it so it's not exactly an unusual phenomenon that nobody has seen before.

    And it may well be a wind-up but why the hell are the BFP publishing something so idiotic? Just as the positivity and passion amongst the fans is coming to a peak, this is the sort of opinion they see fit to promote?

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