The You Choose Cup - Round of 16 Draw - LIVE!!!!
(Booming voice)
Good evening ladies and gentleman, and welcome to Denver, Colorado, for the round of sixteen draw of The You Choose Cup, sponsored by The Gasroom, with their famous slogan, 'Make Sure You Never Not Use Grammar and Spelling Write'. Without further ado, here are your hosts, Mike Raphone and Bob Banal!
MIKE RAPHONE: Hello one and all. It's a pleasure to be with you on this gorgeous, sunny evening here in the Mile High City. You may be asking yourself, why here? Well, it's really a case of one-upping the Carabao Cup, who seem to have their draws everywhere nowadays. And no-one does glamour like America, or histrionic commentary like Americans, so here we are! With me in the booth for the draw is Bob Banal. Good evening Bob!
BOB BANAL: Why hello sir. I really can't wait to get into this draw. The group stages threw up some fascinating tussles, and now we are all holding our breath to see who plays who in the first knockout round.
MIKE: Indeed! Well, let's get right to it with the ball numbers for this evening. The numbers were given in order of the groups, so here we are:
- West Brom
- Bristol City
- Charlton
- QPR
- Shrewsbury
- Leyton Orient
- Sheffield Wednesday
- Blackburn
- Brentford
- Bradford
- Accrington
- Fulham
- Nottingham Forest
- Carlisle
- Forest Green
- Grimsby
Nine of the group winners were from the second tier, which was a little unexpected. Any thoughts after the group stages, Bob?
BOB: Well, I had to feel for Salford and Leeds, scoring no votes between them. I mean, you think about Salford - here is a club who has done everything the right way. They have attracted rich owners, rolled around in a bathtub of pound coins, and scrapped their way into the football league. What a feel good story! And then you have Leeds - I mean, why does nobody seem to like these boys? Just a sweet, sweet club.
MIKE: Indeed! Well, the balls are waiting to be drawn by our automated machine here, so let's get on with it. Off we go, with the draw for the first tie...
Comments
Ball 7 - SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY
MIKE: Boy, that's some first name out of the hat, Bob. One of the pre-tournament favouries, according to some. Who are they going to play in the tie?
Ball 5 - Sheffield Wednesday v SHREWSBURY
MIKE: Wow - so there is our first tie, which will commence right after this draw. Bob, it's Owls versus Shrews. Who wins this?
BOB: Don't you mean Whooooo? (makes owl sound)
MIKE: (sighs)
BOB: Well, joking apart, rodents have not done so well in the rivalry with predatory birds over the years, and though you love to think of a shrew giving a good slapping to an owl, I mean...how often have you even SEEN a shrew slap an owl?
MIKE: Very true, Bob. Very true. Well, let's get to the second draw here...
Ball 15 - FOREST GREEN
Mike: One of the plucky upstarts here. Let's see who comes out next...
Ball 13 - Forest Green v NOTTINGHAM FOREST
MIKE: Wow - you could not make this up! The clubs with the two tree-based names go head to head. 'Wood' you believe it?
BOB: (chuckles). Well, did you know that the two clubs almost merged a few years ago, to form a club called Forest Forest?
MIKE: Tell me more!
BOB: They just needed to sign the paperwork, but Forest Green's owner did not want to MEAT! (rolls around laughing)
MIKE: (slams head into desk repeatedly)
Ball 1 - WEST BROMWICH
Ball 9 - West Bromwich v BRENTFORD
MIKE: An all second tier tie there, Bob. Thoughts?
BOB: Did you know that the sandwich was almost called a bromwich?
MIKE: (warily)...er, no?
BOB: No, seriously! The Earl of Sandwich and the Duke of Bromwich met up and had an apple-throwing duel. The Earl hit the Duke flush in the face with a Granny Smith, so he got the naming rights on their bread-on-bread invention.
MIKE: (On Google). Hmmmm. Well, let's move on, shall we? The draw for game number four...
Ball 11 - ACCRINGTON
Mike: A really lovely little club there, but they did not win their group as resoundingly as some expected. Who will they meet in this knockout round?
Ball 16 - Accrington v GRIMSBY
BOB: A yuuuuuuge tie there, Mike. Accrington might have expected to go far, but they are up against a club who absolutely took Group P to school, in Grimsby. That is one tough tie for Stanley.
MIKE: It sure is, Bob. Something tells me that one is gonna be a firecracker! Let's see who's next...
Ball 4 - QPR
MIKE: Now THIS is going to be interesting. QPR are one of those clubs with links to Wycombe, but they did not hammer their group in the way some of the other favourites did. Who are they going to get?
Ball 3 - QPR v CHARLTON
MIKE: Wow! The imaginary crowd here just let out an audible gasp, Bob! That is a plum tie, right there. Two London clubs, both in the Championship, and now they have to meet right out of the gate.
BOB: You wonder if Charlton will go on a run here, and become Addick-ted to winning.
MIKE: (Drops anvil on his own head).
Ball 6 - LEYTON ORIENT
MIKE: A really nice old London club, this. They won their group in some style - dark horses for the cup, maybe?
Ball 10 - Leyton Orient v BRADFORD
BOB: Now that is another interesting draw. I could see this one being reeeeaaaly close, Mike.
MIKE: Yes indeedy. I would not like to be putting money on a winner there. We are down to the last two draws...
Ball 12 - FULHAM
MIKE: The oldest club in London. A club that is hard to hate, I think, Bob?
BOB: I hate 'em. I really hate 'em.
Ball 2 - Fulham v BRISTOL CITY
MIKE: Well, maybe a weaker draw there? Bristol City won their group more or less because they are not Bristol Rovers. Is that a good reason, Bob?
BOB: I'M not Bristol Rovers. And I'VE never won anything. Not even the Northern Idaho under 16s Potato Roll. And I entered when I was 32.
MIKE: Sad story, Bob. I get your point - how much credit can we give someone for not being Bristol Rovers? I mean, it's a great place to be - you can wake up in the morning and smile at yourself in the mirror. But do you really deserve CREDIT for not being Bristol Rovers?
BOB: Well, you gotta have SOME credit. I mean...after all, you are NOT Bristol Rovers. You got that going for you, and I tell you what, that ain't nothing!
MIKE: You know, you make sense there. When I think about it a little deeper, I realize that not being Bristol Rovers is quite a wonderful starting point for all kinds of good things.
BOB: I know, right? Because, you can be living a country song, you know - the wife's gone, the dog's dead, and whatnot, but when it comes down to it, you have to realize that you are not Bristol Rovers, so how bad can it be?
MIKE: Yeah, I mean - if you put "And I'm Not Bristol Rovers" as a line in a sad country song, people would laugh, right? They would think it's a happy song.
BOB: Definitely! I mean, to really be bluesy, you would need an actual song called 'I AM Bristol Rovers.' But then, only Bristol Rovers could sing that. And then it would STILL be funny. Because Bristol Rovers are singing it.
MIKE: (chuckling) Man, I mean, I can't imagine.
BOB: You know what?
MIKE: What?
BOB: I really think Bristol City could win this.
Ball 8 - BLACKBURN
Ball 14 - Blackburn v CARLISLE
MIKE: Another draw that might be seen as a little weaker, Bob. Blackburn has quite a low percentage in their win, but their group was quite plucky. Carlisle barely scraped a weak group with the lowest percentage total of any winner.
BOB: You gotta think Blackburn are the favourites here. I think their percentage was skewed low, Mike. We may be hearing more from these guys.
MIKE: Well, the draw is complete, and here is the full Round of 16:
Sheffield Wednesday v Shrewsbury
Forest Green v Nottingham Forest
West Bromwich v Brentford
Accrington v Grimsby
QPR v Charlton
Leyton Orient v Bradford
Fulham v Bristol City
Blackburn v Carlisle
A mouthwatering round to look forward to, and we hope you join us again for the quarter-final draw, just eight days from now. I am your host, Mike Raphone, and this is Bob Banal. Bob, any final thoughts?
BOB: (Chuckles softly and whispers under his breath) I am not Bristol Rovers.
Thanks Shev
Fabu!ous, totally fantastic start to the morning over here.
Fantastic work @Shev and comedy gold. “I am not Bristol Rovers” is a meme waiting to be born.
@Shev ... that is just absolutely awesome ! Was looking forward to the draw anyway, but that was extra special.... thread of the year so far.
That is exceptional work, well done Shev
Incredible. A LIVE decent in to comic madness
Damn I wish I'd been watching this live.
Hope Bob Banal joins the gasroom
Just read that through. Shev, that contains a number of laugh-out-loud quotes (e.g. Forest Forest and Bristol Rovers). I cannot remember your background but any assertion (regularly made by Brits) that Americans don't do irony, is simply wrong.
That has truly cheered up my day.
Cheers all. I may be able get Mike and Bob back in the booth for the quarter final draw.